Ocean (2025)

Ocean

Every time I come to the ocean
And watch the powerful waves break

I think what a waste of tidal energy

We could be harnessing 

But ocean never fails
To make me feel small
And my problems smaller

My mind
Is like the waves

Churning and breaking

Destructive and fearful thoughts

Fill my mind and then subside

My thoughts shout out words I'm ashamed of

And shame and desperation make me want to cry

There is a source of anger and fear

That I come to the ocean to free myself from 

But the words that came from the mouth of another
Were mean and hurtful

Can an apology so quickly erase them from my memory

The words burn in my mind

Like amber ready to set fire

I try to contain them within the 2 seconds of time in my memory

But they ring in my mind over and over

And then the words I said afterwards by myself

Ring in my mind after them
The fighting words continue to echo after each other
And grow even more violent

I know he didn't mean to hurt

But at the moment he did

With the sharp flick of the tongue

He whipped my face

So I'm sitting here

Trying to harness the power of my emotions

To write and hopefully gain some insights

We are all connected
formless souls in some shells of carbon

But why can't we be gentle and kind to each other

Is it just words mis-communicated and intentions misunderstood

But why must we hurt each other

Why can't we be like dogs

Just be happy to be together

By inventing words did we lose our essence of being

To be true to my essence

Which is kind and loving

I must be kind and loving to myself 

I cannot rely on others for understanding 

Because they do not hear

I must talk to and listen to myself

At the ocean
My thoughts are broken

Into a thousand little pieces

And like the sand churned by the waves
Rush out into the depths 

Settle at the bottom

Join millions of other grains of sand 
Become part of the universe

So I feel less alone